We have one reader!!! Hi Thia! Thanks for the comments!!

The deal closed and we have a check!!! Now  we have a ton of bills to pay. I am also going to go grocery shopping. We also need to decide what to get Jon for his 18th birthday. He has use of a car whenever he wants. He doesn't know what he wants to do in college so he is going to community college this year to work on a general AA and  live at home. So what can we do for him that is nice? And not expensive since we are really broke. We took a loan to pay for the trip to my mom's funeral. I hate being broke all the time. Jon is hinting he would like an Xbox 360 but that is pricy!! And I do not think I can justify another video game system in this house. We have a regular Xbox ( my mom bought it for him a few years ago), we have a Wii ( I love hits one and play it a lot), we have a super Nintendo. Plus we have 3 desktop and 2 laptops. And no they newest one is Dave's work laptop that is 2 years old. My mom's computer which we have is the second newest desktop on the house and the newest desk one it 5 years old. The other laptop is like 10 years old and is still running windows 98. It cant upgrade with out us spend ubber money on more memory. I think we have enough electronics!!! But what to get him???

I miss my mom. I would call her everyday and we would talk. I need someone to keep me sane!! She was a fountain of advice. I am sad she never got to see her first great grandbaby. I am mad at her still because I think she did it to herself and I do not understand why she did it. She had a good support system and if she was struggling with not smoking I know her doctor had offered different things to help her stop. So instead she smoked and died from lung cancer. That makes a lot of sense to me. Someone tells you to stop something or you are going to die and you continue on. And my "sister" still smokes after seeing this. That makes even more sense. I put "sister" in quotes as her and I have never got along and after the things she pulled I will probably not ever speak to her again. She owes me one serious apology and her action speak louder then her words. The fact that she came in my mom's condo while I was there and took all the dishes we were using to eat on because she wanted them makes me angry. The fact that her and my brother got first pick of everything my mom had and I got "leftovers" really torks me. I know I live the farthest but why should I get the leftovers? She loved each of us and always tried to not play favorites.

Oh I don't know if I mentioned this before but when we were at breakfast with George he made a comment I sort of agree with. He asked me if I thought my mom was still in love with her ex. And now that I have thought about it I kind of think she was. She kept in touch with his parents even though they divorced in 1970. She has always known every aspect of his life and was quick to tell everyone. She even supposedly made comments to my sister that he had better not show up or send flowers to her funeral. I think that was more my sister. He did send flowers and a donation. I actually think it was very respectful of him to do that and acknowledge her. My sister threw a HUGE hissy fit in the funeral home over it. Seriously. I was embarrassed by it. She could of tactfully asked to have them removed instead of the scene she caused. She is also angry that I left with my kids for a few hours to get food. I knew no one there, it was Marissa's birthday, and I was hungry. The original date for the wake was on her kids birthday and they changed it because they didn't want to ruin it for anyone. So I guess my kids don't count.

My mom's condo goes on the market for showing tomorrow. I am sad about it. I know its the end of all my mom was proud of.  Her and I had many talks about how she felt on things. She was proud of her own little home with her things. She was proud of having her dream car. I think her life was how she wanted it most of the way. I do know she had a lot of unhappiness and sadness. I do kind of think in reflecting that she did live her ex and maybe that is why she never remarried. Not because of the kids or because the estates get to confusing if someone dies or any of the other excuses she gave us.

I miss my mom a lot today